A Place in this World

Have you ever made one of those really big choices in life – like the ones that literally change the course and direction of everything from that decision forward? They’re the kinds of decisions people discuss with friends and family over and over for weeks, possibly months, until a consensus on a decision is built. Have you ever stopped to reflect how differently things may have gone if you had made different decisions? It’s kind of scary to think about really – one or two different decisions and maybe you don’t have children, or that promotion you got, or that house you got when you almost didn’t make an offer on in time, or that house you got and it turned out to be a total disaster?  Decisions are hard, and most of the time we need those words of encouragement or hard truth from our friends, families, and trusted advisors so that we can feel comfortable that we are making wise decisions.

Every once in a while, though, we find it necessary to make one of those monumental decisions all on our own. 52 days ago I did exactly that when I accepted an offer for a job in New York after a nearly 3 month interview process. I know what you’re thinking – how could I just immediately decide to leave behind everything I know and love in an instant, and without talking to anyone about it? I suppose there are two important things to note here as background information that actually reject the premise of that question entirely. First, I’ve been dreaming about getting that phone call offering me the job for over ten years, so technically I’ve had as long to make the decision that my answer would be yes if the conditions were right. Second, I never made the decision to leave anything, but rather my decision was about the going. It was about all of the exciting and challenging things ahead. It was about the ability to build something remarkable, both at my new job and in the new life I would build for myself. That decision – the decision to go – represented exactly the thing that, despite a largely successful life, I had been failing to do. I had finally made a conscious decision to live a life that makes me wholly happy and live it on precisely my terms. So yes, that made my decision unquestionably easy to make and own entirely.

So here I am, working on Madison Avenue, living my life as loudly or quietly as I choose to that day, and honestly its just the most empowering feeling to be this invested in myself and my needs. Even though I’m still living in Jersey, it finally feels like I’ve found a place in this world.

I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me
‘Cause I’m still trying to figure it out
Don’t know what’s down this road
I’m just walking

Finally, for all my fangirls, here’s some fun shit I did this week:

  • Became “Team Bus”. I rode the train for almost four full weeks before I found out there is a well-air conditioned EXPRESS bus that goes straight from where I’m living to the Port Authority Bus Terminal. No stops, no transfers, and my own seat. Ride the train? Forget about it.
  • Discovered that you can pay people to do your laundry for you. Easily the best $12/a week I’ve ever spent.
  • Went to brunch with strangers. Turns out meetup.com isn’t a place for oddballs here like it is in Columbia. The brunch was just alright (Max Brenner’s Chocolate Bar at Union Square if you’re curious), but I met a couple of really great humans while I was there, so it goes in the win column anyway.
  • I took full advantage of the whole staying in Jersey thing today and went for a traditional Italian Sunday dinner at a place in Elizabeth, NJ called Spirito’s. Let me tell y’all something. If you are ever within an hour of this place and you enjoy Italian food, you need to fix your life and go there. The place looks like a dump, despite it’s old-world charm (is it really charm if it’s not ironic and actually IS from 70 years ago?) and the service left much to be desired, but holy. shit. the. food. I had lasagna with sausage, which I was told was going to take a bit longer, because they bake you your own lasagna to order. The pasta is all fresh handmade and you can absolutely tell, so now I’m going to be a pasta snob and insist on it. The cheese was so creamy and flavorful, but not too rich. But the gravy (call it sauce and you’re swimming with the fishes) oh, the gravy. It’s legitimately the best thing I’ve ever eaten, lasagna or otherwise. My picture won’t do it justice, but here it is anyway to keep you happy until my next post:


  • IMG_1263

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